I love you.
I am guilty of many mistakes. I have been wounded terribly and, in turn, have hurt others too; I’m not ashamed to admit to it. But the one thing I swear to God I’ve never done is use these words lightly. Ever. “I love you.”
People who use these words unthinkingly – men and women – do you ever stop to think how you can cause someone to plummet to the depths of despair and alone-ness when you say these words without meaning them? Because, you see, there are some of us out there who ARE believers. We believe in the strength, the simplicity, the purity, the WORLD, that these three words imply.
For you, it may have been an escape from monotony. A “ship romance” kind of thingummy. A jaded relationship with a spouse. So you decided to “get in the moment” just for now, say the most meaningful words one being can say to another, just for kicks. Because you were bored. Not knowing of course that some of us out there are still believers. So we believed you meant it. We believed that we were whom you had been searching for all your life; we were the complete whole to your incomplete half; that life without us would have no meaning; that no one could ever replace us; we were destined to be. We believed this love would never end. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Call me naïve, but I have often wondered where this love went to when you were done with loving. Is there some Great Beyond out there where this no-longer needed love is incinerated? How did you decide that you could not live without this person and then there came a day when you couldn’t run far enough away? When did you decide it wasn’t WORTH it to nurture this love plant along anymore? What made you give up? And where was I when you were taking these decisions that would impact my life too?
I just want to ask you one more thing. Was it fair to make all those commitments and those avowals of love, when you were not certain you were in for the long haul? Because, you know, I believed you with all my heart….
Lies. All lies. Does “love” make liars of us? Or did we lie – to love?