Krrish 3: He-man Comet(h)

Nobody, but nobody, can surpass Raakesh Roshan when it comes to perfection in technical innovation and brilliance in Indian cinema. He leaves the panting packs far behind when it comes to an eye for detail and, as for budget – what’s that?! No expense is spared when it comes to presenting a tech-gizmo product in the name of a Hindi film offering, with stunning, spectacular locales as a fitting backdrop to his Adonis-like son, Hrrithik Roshan.

Having said alla that, it’s going to come as a huge surprise when I say next that virtually every other film department has been sacrificed on the altar of technical brilliance. Box office collections may have been terrific on the first or even second days, but this movie is gonna have a quick R.I.P. Let me proceed to take ‘Krrish 3’ apart without further ado.

The movie has been touted as a “super hero science fiction” film. ‘Krrish 3’ loosely takes off from ‘Koi Mil Gaya’ and ‘Krrish.’ Thankfully, there is an extremely clever and succinct summing up of the earlier films in the beginning (just in case any viewers have missed parts 1 and 2) narrated by Amitabh Bachchan. Hmm. Wonder why, when surely Naseeruddin Shah’s – of whom we catch only brief glimpses in a flashback – measured baritone would have done just as well. Rekha is just a garlanded photo on the wall and so is Preity Zinta, mommy of Krrish! So here we have the Rohit Mehra (Hrithik Roshan) of ‘Koi Mil Gaya’ as an ageing scientist, still endearingly childlike but nonetheless possessed of a brilliant mind. Krrish (Hrithik Roshan in a double role) of ‘Krrish’ is now married to Priya (Priyanka Chopra) and they’re expecting a child. Trouble looms across the waters in the form of Kaal (Viveik Oberoi) a cripple of exceptional intelligence but undoubtedly dark and evil, who, with his acquired powers of psychokinesis or telekinesis, can wreak havoc on people around him; needless to say, furniture in his abode needs changing ever so often! Hope author Jeffrey Deaver is noticeably bucked, as Kaal’s character has been loosely based on his literary character, detective Lincoln Rhyme, who is completely paralysed neck down except for being able to turn his head and move a forefinger.

Through the marvels of science and technology, Kaal has managed to merge the gene pools of humans and animals (cloning is a thing of the past, people!) and has thus created some mutant creatures, the most notable being Kaaya (Kangna Ranaut.) He unleashes bio-warfare on Mumbai, to which Rohit Mehra finds an antidote from his son Krrish’s blood! Err, wokay. Kaal then gets hopping mad and sends Kaaya along with a trio of mutants to Mumbai to ferret out this troublesome scientist. Much shattering glass and whizzing through skies later, we’re informed that Kaal is actually Rohit’s son that has been “created” using his genes by the wicked Dr Arya (Naseeruddin Shah.)

Arif Zakaria is seen in a brief role; Mohnish Behl has a blink-and-miss-it cameo as Kaal’s adopted daddy. Rajpal Yadav, looking old and weary, entertains in the brief moments allotted to him but it’s typical Rajpal stuff and nothing refreshing. Rakhee Tandon manages to be persistently irritating in the few seconds on screen but her claim to fame can now be a Rakesh Roshan movie!

And now to ACTION. Special effects in ‘Krrish 3’ are stupendous. Skyscrapers falling apart like confetti through the air…the action with the mutants…daredevil ninja stunts…some amazing stuff. That whole mutant tongue sequence was gross; well done, but overdone. The airplane feat is simply fantastic – unreal, but fantastic nonetheless. Speaking of which, did you get a load of that plane’s interiors – now THAT’s what’s called a ‘Dreamliner!’

And now to STORY. Hang on, what?? ‘Didn’t you know we were so busy finding viruses and antidotes and gizmos that we, err, kinda forgot about this angle; well hell, with all we’ve given you to be awed about, who needs something as pithy as a story?’ So, no doubt, goes the chant in the Roshan corridors because certainly, of story there is precious little! What a superb fulcrum of science fiction and of course, super hero, but then all those emotional filmi tangles go and spoil the plot. Screenplay has been credited to Raakesh Roshan, Robin Bhatt, Honey Irani, Irfan Kamal, Akash Khurana. The scene between Krrish and the boy while sitting on the window ledge seems to have been bunged in doubtless as a moral lesson to deter Hrrithik fans from trying out the dangerous stunts on their own. Krrish doubting that Priya is really Priya is based on weak summations, there’s no Eureka! moment to it. All the airplane passengers hammed it to the hilt; poor show.

Kangna Ranaut has delivered a superior performance. As Kaaya, she is tremendously fit and svelte, feminine menace oozing out of her pores. As a woman experiencing love, she emotes beautifully through her eyes and facial expressions; as an actress, she has really matured.

Viveik Oberoi. Words fail me. Astounding performance – the boy has become a man indeed. When Raakesh Roshan claimed that the antagonist would have as powerful a role as the protagonist, he wasn’t kidding. And Oberoi has done complete justice to the faith the Roshans showed in him. Considering Kaal is paralysed for virtually most of the film, the only emoting possible was through the eyes and that sardonic twist of the mouth – bravo!

The prosthetic technicians have done a superlative job in making the older Hrrithik look so believable. Pity then the prosthetic – and aesthetic! – department could do nothing to hide those godawful wide plastic bra straps for Kaaya! I have absolutely no idea who should be credited/blamed for that aluminium scrap suit and distorted voice that Kaal sports once he’s able to go walk-about; shouldn’t he be skipping around like a lamb in springtime at having the use of his legs back, rather than gear up like Terminator?

Stark make-up,with Star Trek like eyes and outlandish hair styles works for Kaaya and so does the grey frozen look for Kaal but that’s as far as I’ll credit the make-up department for this film. Why oh why does Krrish have this Tarzan-like hairstyle? And purple dress with red lipstick (Kaaya) or red dress with black stilettos (Priya) tsk, tsk. Methinks everyone concerned with this movie went a bit zombie-like in the end! Priyanka Chopra needs to work on her looks with or without a cosmetics department as back-up! Her face looks remarkably puffy, those chicken rings around her neck are plug-ugly and her hairstyle left me shuddering. Her acting left much to be desired too and Kangna easily outshone her; looks like PC is content to rest on past laurels from ‘Barfi’ and the Pit Bull album.

Help. Has the real Rajesh Roshan been kidnapped and a mutant injected neatly in his place much like the storyline of ‘Krrish 3?’ Where is the man who gave us such mellifluous, softly flowing numbers earlier? Except for ‘Dil tu hi bata’ (great job by Zubeen Garg/Alisha Chinai) that is reminiscent of the Roshan style, the rest of the songs are a total disaster! What was ‘God, Allah aur Bhagwan’ all about in hiphop style, PC looking demented in a sheer saree and shaggy-dog haircut and the background dancers with jiggling bellies?! I consider it extremely distasteful and bordering on blasphemy to have a religious number like ‘Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram’ paired with nonsensical rubbish like “non stop party, hola amigos!” Really surprised at the otherwise oh-so-correct Roshans! And was the Censor Board so blinded by flashes of sunlight (sic!) and tongue-lapping mutants that they let this one slip by?

Cinematography by S. Tirru is very good. Dialogues by Sanjay Masoom – weak. Lyrics by Sameer – ugh. Background score by Salim-Sulaiman – gripping. Editing by Chandan Arora – shoddy. The movie could have easily been cut by quite a few minutes and still remained an enhanced product. Action by Shyam Kaushal and Tony Ching Sui Tung – spectacular.

Ahh, just when I was heaving a sigh of pained relief that Rohit is also now finally gonna be a framed photo on the wall – which hopefully, meant no more sequels – comes along Krrish’s baby boy (what else?!) who can seemingly attach himself to the ceiling like a limpet! Oh crap. Krrish 4. And 5. And the saga continues.

*This review is written exclusively for The Film Writers Association of India.

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