Kis Kis Ko Pyaar Karoon: Draupadi Retold!

Well, what does one expect of a movie that stars Kapil Sharma? A two and a half hour extension of Comedy Nights, is what. And, in that sense, KKKPK does not disappoint, even though the story line is so flimsy that I need to bang my head against the nearest wall.

Shiv Ram Kishan (nice pun on the reigning SRK and, no no, unlike Amar, Akbar Anthony, this is all one and the same man, Kapil Sharma) aka Bholu to his loving mommy, is a dutiful son who stringently follows mommy’s first commandment of never breaking a woman’s heart ,so that he ends up marrying three women completely by “mistake.” The first mistake is the trite dying-father-in-hospital scene (a stranger, to boot) who puts his daughter’s hand into Bholu’s paw and obligingly kicks the bucket. The second marriage happened coz Bholu’s scum of a friend zipped off with the dowry money and left the bride standing at the altar so he had to marry her to save her izzat – although the bride does let on that she had actually been shown Bholu’s photu and was so bowled over (eeps!) that her family forked over 50lakhs for the privilege of making him their damaad! The third marital accident happens when Mumbai don (Arbaaz Khan) mistakenly assumes that SRK is the man his behna loves and therefore, makes the marriage happen at gunpoint.

Everybody is then happily accommodated on various floors of the aptly named Cocktail Towers condominium, with SRK’s ever-obliging friend Karan (Varun Sharma) handling all his bhabhis with aplomb. He sure needs to be on his toes, because pal Bholu then reveals that he intends to marry his actual ladylove Deepika (Eli Avram) as well, which would be his first “real” marriage – although the Lord knows he’s been having plenty bedroom fun in the not-so-real marriages as well!

As if this modern male parody inspired by Draupadi from the Mahabharat wasn’t enough, we also have Bholu’s estranged mummy (Supriya Pathak) and papa (Sharat Saxena) cootchie-cooing at each other, just in case you were losing the plot somewhere! The ending is deftly tied up with twine and presented to the audience, where, at his marriage mandap with Deepika and the mandatory thappad from maa, a tearful Bholu tells us that all along he had only been obeying mommy (remember the first commandant?) and keeping the ladies happy, else they would have ALL committed suicide.

As mentioned, the story line (Anukalp Goswami) is barely there, much like Avram’s wardrobe, but what saves the movie are undoubtedly the gags. Although credited to Dheeraj Sarna, Kapil Sharma’s hand is definitely seen albeit not mentioned, such as referring to the don’s goondas as his staff; the pun on chautha (fourth) vs chautha (funeral prayer) or telling the priest to hurry up with the wedding ceremony (havan hai, barbeque nahin.) Delivered in Sharma’s inimitable style, the one-liners had the audience in splits. The underwear scene as also the drunken scene were well handled, although both could have been shortened. The scene with all three wives in the shopping mall was so over-the-top it made me wince thrice; can wives actually talk like this to the husband’s boss and live to tell the tale?

I have no clue what made Kapil Sharma, the successful stand-up comedian, think he could be a successful Bollywood actor – is it a case of too much success too quick having gone to the head?! He clearly looks uncomfortable with the dance steps and has made no attempt whatsoever to get into shape for the role, with a plump face and equally well-rounded tum. Also, there is no distinction between Kapil Sharma, the Comedy Nights host, and the character of SRK.

Arbaaz Khan gets better with age but then again, the man can deliver when he doesn’t have much to say, apart from which, his character was conveniently created deaf too! Jamie Lever (veteran comedian Johnny Lever’s daughter) makes a decent debut as the maidservant. Supriya Pathak with stereotyped lines – what a career setback after her performance in ‘Ram Leela.’ Sharat Saxena and Manoj Joshi (as Deepika’s father) were competent. Varun Sharma did a good job. All the leading ladies (Manjiri Phadnis, Simran Kaur Mundi and Sai Lokur) were very sad disappointments. Say – what is all the big fuss about Eli Avram about? She was touted as the next best thing since sliced bread but not much shakal, akal or anything else impressive – WHEN are we going to get over our gora hang-up??

Cinematography (Dilshad VA) is okay, editing (Hussain Burmawallah) is crisp, praise God. Choreography is not even worth a mention. The music (Tanishk Bagchi, Dr Zeuss, Javed Mohsin, Amjad-Nadeem) in spite of so many heads put together, is lacklustre; ‘Jugni peeke tight hai’ by Dr Zeuss is fairly peppy. Tanishk Bagchi’s ‘Samandaar’ has Shreya Ghoshal in such shrill timbre that it is an assault on the ears! The costumes (Naahid Shah) and make-up (Suraj Godambe) are a complete disaster, insofar as the ladies are concerned, although Kapil Sharma in the red pants was quite an eyesore too.

Produced by Ganesh and Ratan Jain of Venus, KKKPK is directed by the men in in white, brothers Abbas-Mastaan, whose forte has hitherto been the action and thriller genres. This is their first foray into out-and-out comedy. Presumably they thought they had a safe bet in Kapil Sharma, however, as earlier hinted at, a successful skit does not a box office dhamaal make. Nonetheless, the movie is paisa vasool for its goofy gags.

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